Mary K. Kuhner wrote:
> gleichman wrote:
>
> > And I find the assumption that difficult adventures allowing no time
> > for role-play somewhat foolish. Make time. It isn't hard of that's
what
> > you're interested in.
>
> This to me is a counsel of perfection. There is some player out there
> who can face consistently very difficult scenarios and not suffer any
> loss of her ability to roleplay. But it isn't me. I have been playing
> long enough to know that. Maybe I am a fool. I thought, though, that
> we had a kind of agreement not to spend our time on ad hominem?
>
> If my characters have to act extremely precisely in order to live, I
> do not personally find myself capable of good roleplaying. Consider
> the situation where a PC spends a round to save the life of an
> honorable foe. The whole party dies, becuase that PC's input could not
> possibly be spared for even one round. Speaking only for myself,
whatever
> satisfaction I might have felt in that small detail is swamped by the
> massive impact of failure, and *failure caused by my character*. If
> there are other players, I shrink under the impact of their pain and
> disappointment, and possibly their anger with me.
>
> Next time I won't do it. There exists a perfect player who can keep
> roleplaying excellently through many experiences like this, but I'm not
> her. I play for fun, and this is not enough fun.
>
> I also stop experimenting with new tactics. It's too dangerous to try
> anything new if every scenario is close to the killing edge. So I stop
> learning, and eventually I play very badly. We had this in SCAP. At
> 8th level my PCs were no more competent than they had been at 5th;
partly
> because I had not had time to learn to play them, but partly also
because
> without easier scenarios, there was no op****tunity for experimentation
and
> refinement of tactics. I could not afford to try something new that
might
> not work out.
>
> <sigh> What this conversation is doing for me is constantly rubbing
> salt in wounds. I wish I were a stronger person and able to shrug it
> off, but right now I'm not. I feel as though I'm being blamed
(personally
> and as a representative of a group) for the Decline of Modern
Roleplaying
> and probably the Loss of the Heroic Ideal, and it hurts. I didn't
> really expect this response from .advocacy. Elsewhere, yes, but not
here.
> I think I have to beg off. I might come back in 6 months or so when
> things improve, or I might try ruthlessly killfiling everyone who
> jumps on me. But I am not able to deal with the status quo. I've got
> severe issues with depression in RL and I need not to be adding more
pain
> to them.
>
> Mary Kuhner mkkuhner@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
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