gleichman wrote:
> And I find the assumption that difficult adventures allowing no time
> for role-play somewhat foolish. Make time. It isn't hard of that's what
> you're interested in.
This to me is a counsel of perfection. There is some player out there
who can face consistently very difficult scenarios and not suffer any
loss of her ability to roleplay. But it isn't me. I have been playing
long enough to know that. Maybe I am a fool. I thought, though, that
we had a kind of agreement not to spend our time on ad hominem?
If my characters have to act extremely precisely in order to live, I
do not personally find myself capable of good roleplaying. Consider
the situation where a PC spends a round to save the life of an
honorable foe. The whole party dies, becuase that PC's input could not
possibly be spared for even one round. Speaking only for myself, whatever
satisfaction I might have felt in that small detail is swamped by the
massive impact of failure, and *failure caused by my character*. If
there are other players, I shrink under the impact of their pain and
disappointment, and possibly their anger with me.
Next time I won't do it. There exists a perfect player who can keep
roleplaying excellently through many experiences like this, but I'm not
her. I play for fun, and this is not enough fun.
I also stop experimenting with new tactics. It's too dangerous to try
anything new if every scenario is close to the killing edge. So I stop
learning, and eventually I play very badly. We had this in SCAP. At
8th level my PCs were no more competent than they had been at 5th; partly
because I had not had time to learn to play them, but partly also because
without easier scenarios, there was no op****tunity for experimentation and
refinement of tactics. I could not afford to try something new that might
not work out.
<sigh> What this conversation is doing for me is constantly rubbing
salt in wounds. I wish I were a stronger person and able to shrug it
off, but right now I'm not. I feel as though I'm being blamed (personally
and as a representative of a group) for the Decline of Modern Roleplaying
and probably the Loss of the Heroic Ideal, and it hurts. I didn't
really expect this response from .advocacy. Elsewhere, yes, but not here.
I think I have to beg off. I might come back in 6 months or so when
things improve, or I might try ruthlessly killfiling everyone who
jumps on me. But I am not able to deal with the status quo. I've got
severe issues with depression in RL and I need not to be adding more pain
to them.
Mary Kuhner mkkuhner@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
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