"Chris Mattern" <syscjm@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:slrnftrj73.9kk.syscjm@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> On 2008-03-12, David Richerby <davidr@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote:
>>
>> When anyone outside the USA writes `football', they mean `soccer'.
>>
> Why don't they just write "soccer", then? Less confusing for everybody.
> :-)
FUS-BALL EXPLAINED
Well... because it is anti-intuitive. The idea in football, you see, is to
actually kick the ball with your foot, and this term seems to be why
Americans are so confused ~ they presumably think because it is a European
term, there are 3 levels of meaning to the term none of which are obvious.
Fortunately new material has arrived to relieve the situation, courtesy of
Leonardo DaVinci, who drew a couple of off-hand diagrams which have
recently
ben published in England of (a) what centre-forwards should do against
German-style zone defence, and (b) if all else fails against Italian
teams,
kick them in the leg and just watch the hysterics, while you go on to
score!
[Italians 'act' so much, officials ignore them]
Whereas, as ani ful no, the idea of American football is to /not/ to kick
the ball with your foot, since America hasn't invented the round ball you
can kick yet, and the ones they have they hit with sticks [called
Rounders]
or throw into waste-paper baskets on poles [called WHOOPS].
RUCKING OVER AMERICA
I would suggest as an interim stage they adopt English Rugby League, which
is a fast and fluent game, the ball staying in play for minutes at a
time!And which would appeal to American audiences, especially the pack,
which is allowed to 'ruck' over the opponent [translation; ruck means to
kick people when they are down and basically, to trample them into the
ground while pretending to be getting the ball] - though I fear American's
might not immediate 'get' the idea that everybody on the team can throw
the
ball - and maybe the game should be dimplified if brought here to avoid
this
confusion?
The other problem with Rugby league is the mud. After about 10 minutes
both
sides are plastered in it, and you can't tell one from another - but
that's
okay! Both teams can then go after the guy with the ball and try to ruck
him!
The game could be renamed something like 'Extreme-Survivor' and therefore
help get chess on tv with Grandmasters coaching each side and calling out
the moves.
Cool, no?
Phil Innes
> --
> Christopher Mattern
>
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