NEW YORK -- A public school teacher was arrested today at John F.
Kennedy International Air****t as he attempted to board a flight while
in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule
and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes
the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not
identify the man, wh o has been charged by the FBI with carrying
weapons of math instruction.
"Al-gebra is a problem for us," the AG said. "They desire solutions
by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of
absolute values."
"They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y', and refer to themselves
as 'unknowns', but we have determined that they belong to a common
denominator, the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country."
As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, "There are 3 sides to
every triangle."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had
wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have
given us more fingers and toes."
White House aides told re****ters they could not recall a more
intelligent or profound statement by the President
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