We highly recommend that you avoid putting limes in your vagina. Likewise,
if someone else says "Do you mind if I put a lime in your vagina?", we
suggest that you politely say "No thank you". While limes and other citrus
fruits are colorful and create an interesting aesthetic, they seem better
suited for seafood garnishes and cocktails.
Admittedly, we have not systematically studied the long and short-term
effects of lime insertion in vaginas. However, we've decided to go out on
a
limb with a few unproven warnings anyway. (If we're wrong, we promise to
make a public apology.)
1.. Germies: If not thoroughly washed, the lime could contaminate your
vagina with who-knows-what-from-who-knows-where-it's-been.
2.. Stuckage: That looks like a pretty tight fit. Do you want to risk a
visit to the Emergency Room to answer the inevitable "So what seems to be
the problem?"
3.. Ouchies: If the lime is scratched or punctured in any way, the juice
could sting your tender bits.
4.. Stinkage: If you don't change your lime regularly, it could develop
a
foul odor.
5.. Grief, loss & humiliation: If you leave the lime in there too long,
your vagina may eventually suffocate and fall off. You don't want your
*****
to fall off do you? My luck, it would happen while I was standing in line
at
the super market. And, I don't think my medical insurance covers
reattachment.
We suggest you stick to the basics when it comes to putting things in your
vagina. Fingers, tongues, dildos, vibrators, tampons, lube, diaphragms . .
.
hmmm, what am I forgetting? Oh, and beautiful engorged latex covered
*****es!
With Love
And tongue
In cheek,
Your faithful & adoring Love Goddess and her happy & healthy vagina,
Amber
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