How to Throw your own Bootleg Cinco de Mayo Party
GUEST RULES
Everyone must use extra nacho cheesy pick-up lines:
1 - I want to taste your fish taco.
2 - Hey chica! There's like, a fiesta in my pantalones and you and your
amigas are invited.
3 - Do I have protection? Oh yeeee-ah. I'm wearing a rubber sombrero.
Then you and the hot girl start making out. Then out of no where a Mexican
Mariachi Band starts playing ****o music.
CONVERSATION STARTERS
Put up sticky notes with factoids about Mexican culture. (People love
factoids.)
ex. Did you know the official colors of Mexico are red and green? They
symbolize salsa and guacamole.
NOTE: Factoids do not have to contain facts.
ALCOHOL
Real sangria would be delicious and classy. But it takes a long time (over
10 minutes!) to make. And this is a bootleg HogWild party. So make sangria
the bootleg way... get a bucket and fill it with Kool-Aid and Vodka. Done!
GIRLS
Hot girls are mud wrestling in an inflatable pool full of guacamole.
S****T
The party must have a big vat of refried beans. Because they will prepare
the participants for a certain type of very loud contest later in the
night.
PARTY TRICKS
If you have a buddy who works in a lab, then you can pull of this neat
party
trick. (Yeah, I said neat. What of it, sperm-wad?)
Anyway, your lab buddy brings in some full test tubes used for employee
drug
screening and serves them with a slice of lime. This guessing game is
called
"Is this a Warm Corona or Pee?"
PARTY GAMES
Keeping with the Mexican theme, play Red Rover!
Red Rover Red Rover! I call my mother and sister over!
Everyone in the line is dressed as Border Patrol to keep the rest of your
family out of America.
And another classic: Pin the Blame on the Immigrant.
FOOD
You could serve authentic Mexican food. But that would like, require
effort.
So make the party BYOB. (Bring Your Own Burrito... from Taco Bell.)
ATTIRE
Everyone must wear a name tag that says "Me Llamo es ___" And then fill in
the name of their favorite Mexican wrestler -- which only makes sense
because at this party everyone must dress as their favorite Mexican
wrestler.
What?! You don't HAVE a favorite Mexican wrestler? Fine! Then I'll assign
one to you, butthole!
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